The final straw pt. 1

For the first year and a half, things seemed to be okay. Everyone seemed to be trying. Finding a new normal. A new way to be. And then, a few weeks before March 28th, 2020, something broke.

After talking to my parents about Mel in August of 2018, there was a shift that couldn’t be ignored. There was less communication, though what there was, was kind. That year, the holidays neared, and my Mom reached out to say that she and my dad were inviting Mel to join us for Christmas. This felt promising. A flutter of hope escaped.

I think everyone was nervous. Mel was nervous about staying in a household that was uncomfortable with who she is. I was nervous that one of my family members would say something they couldn’t take back. My parents were, I’m sure, nervous about being true to themselves and their beliefs while also being good hosts. That last part probably mattered more to my mom than my dad.

Looking back, I think the holiday went as well as anyone could have hoped. The house was filled with laughter, games, good food, and, dare I say it, love. At one point, my mom and I were in the kitchen, just the two of us. I got up the courage and asked her what she thought about Mel. About me with Mel. I will never forget her response. She said, “She’s great. I just wish that you two were best friends and that was all” and without pause, I said, “but then we wouldn’t get to do life together. And I want to do life with my best friend.” We continued baking. My mom has come a long way since that conversation. She’s done so alone. Without the support of her partner. Without the support of my dad.

The photo above was the rose of the trip. That was the moment I started to believe that this could work. Mel and I returned to Utah the following March to help my parents pack up their house to move. We went back again, in August, to have time together with the whole family. I wish I’d known that was our last time together with everyone. We celebrated Thanksgiving in my parent’s new home. 2019 was everything to me. It was also a lie. It was a parent trying to wait it out, biding his time, believing that it would end. That it was temporary.

All of that changed at the beginning of March 2020, when Mel called my parents, letting them know that she was going to ask me to marry her.